Nevisport

It’s Nevisport and it’s Saturday night

And not a spare seat in sight

The place is jumping to every song

What a bloody excellent night

They dance on the tables, they dance on the chairs

And no-one seems to mind

It’s really a climber’s and skier’s pub

And heights really turn-on that kind

We’ve had so many good times in there

Really excellent, it has to be said

The best one being the “Toilet Roll” night

As we all had it wrapped round our heads

The whole place went mental, it was such a laugh

It seemed too good to be true

Both young and old had joined in the fun

To play our games of Kung-Fu

On another occasion Nevisport did it again

But Stephen and I had been bad

We’d gone on a Booze Cruise before the gig

And what a fab time we had

But never again will I do that, I swear

I got as pissed as a fart

I hardly remember singing a song

And the Booze Cruise played a large part

At the end of the night I sobered-up fast

As Pete our friend suffered from shock

He’d gone to the loo, and what had he seen?

A guy with a ring through his cock!!

“Show me, please show me” I slurred to the guy

He obliged me and took out his willie

I nearly passed out at the size of the ring

I’d never let that near my “lillie”

But then it got worse as he lifted it up

There were dozens of rings underneath

Hell mend the poor guy's girlfriend

She's probably chipped all her teeth!

We went back again a few weeks later

And all our friends came along

It was a laugh, I had a ball

And then it all went wrong

As we sat down at the end of the night

I was talking to Kathleen O’Shea

We were messing around, having a laugh

And I pushed the chair out of her way

She landed with a thud – on her arse

And I felt really bad

It wasn’t meant to happen that way

And I wish it never had

She lay on the floor and I pulled her up

I could see she was in pain

But she laughed it off, and said “It’s okay

It would never be mentioned again.”

Until the next day when I got a call

Could I take Kathy into A&E

I felt so awful for hurting my friend.

Why do these things happen to me.