The Wallace Rally

If Harley Davidsons turn you on

There’s one place you should go

That’s the Rally at Stirling – it’s such a laugh

We’ve been so we should know

I wasn’t sure what to expect

The first time I went there

So support I brought with me

Which I thought was only fair

There were hundreds of them and two of us

I prayed we would impress

It’s not the place you want to be

If you wear a floral dress

Leather and studs – they go down well

If you want to feel at home

And earrings from every orifice

And they don’t use shaving foam

They’re a magic bunch I have to say

They really like a laugh

So here’s some more things that go on

As we follow the Wonderland path

The way we got the Stirling gig

Was really very weird

We were playing in Roybridge Hotel one night

When Steve spotted this guy with a beard

“I know his face” he said to me

“But I just can’t think where from

It’s not from recent years I know

It’s from days that are long-gone”

He racked his brain as to who he was

As we took the gear from the van

And then the penny finally dropped

He was his childhood ice-cream man

He’d changed a lot since days gone by

No longer a Mr. Whippy

With long grey hair in a ponytail

He looked like a well groomed hippy

He asked us to play at the Rally next year

And he told us when it was on

He’s the guy who arranges it all

His name’s Davy Meiklejohn

So when May came round we were on our way

To the Wallace Rally at last

We were staying the night in a Milton Hotel

So the night should go with a blast

We all checked in to the rooms we had

I guess you’re wondering who is “we”

That’s Tracy from Banff, Alberta and Pete

And of course Stephen and me

Ally, my hubby, couldn’t come that weekend

He was away having fun with the boys

So what’s good for the goose is good for the gander

Let’s see who can make the most noise

The challenge was on I was ready to start

So off to the gig we all went

My stomach was churning at the thought of it all

So for my Guardian I sent

When we arrived and walked into the club

They made us feel part of the gang

So I told my Angel to have the night off

With the Caledonia Club I would hang

We talked to the guy who was cooking for them

He had really enjoyed his weekend

With four hours sleep since the bikers arrived

He was nearly going round the bend

The Rally had started on Friday sometime

Tonight was the very last night

Tomorrow being Monday they’d all head for home

So they were making the most of tonight

I went for a wander around the club

And found they were doing tattoos

They were also doing piercings which I thought was good

So I filled myself up with booze

We got tanked up and went through to the room

We’d make sure Stirling left its mark

We’d all like piercing if that’s OK

So our arses we did park

Stephen went first and got a ring in his ear

Alberta went for that too

Tracy and I got a stud in our nose

And Pete didn’t bother going through

It was quite sore I must admit

And the toes on my feet I was curling

But now that it’s over I can tell everyone

I got my hole in Stirling!!!

The night was brilliant and over too soon

But we stayed on to get the craic

We had burgers and chips as we sat round the fire

We would definitely come back

The fact that a good time was had by all

We retreated back to the hotel

Sleep’s what we needed, we were all fucked

So did we stop? Did we hell!